i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
