I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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