Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
