Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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