the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
