adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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