watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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