my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
