The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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