i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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