I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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