I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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