I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
