Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
