hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Let's get the cat blown out
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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