I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
not ubering you a puppy
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
