im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
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No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
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Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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