It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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