If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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