OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
