pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
