I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
