Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I want her autograph on my taint
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
