I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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