They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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