so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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