He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize