Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
