can we get nightvision for the apartment?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize