my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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