I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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