How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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