so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
