even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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