Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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