Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
