I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
This show inspires me to have sex in space
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
