After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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