You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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