Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
