I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
