Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Dicks are not precious.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
