? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
