Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize