the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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