Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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