I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize