Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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