whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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