I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
