I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
