So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
