So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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