; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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