drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
