I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
