forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
