He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
