His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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