I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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