he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
