She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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