So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
