Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Testing the emergency boobs hotline