i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize