fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
