So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
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So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
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And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT